i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just forgot I was standing up.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
