I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
