Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
