You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
