hotel room ftw
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
zippers are such a cool invention
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
