After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize