Sry I called you an 8
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
