my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
