just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
