New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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