Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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