i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i think i have herpe
just one?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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