I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
