East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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