As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
