Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
