and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
