found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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