Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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