look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
