You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize