in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize