4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
