This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
