True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Hippo gnu deer
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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