if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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