We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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