I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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