I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just pee around me
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
