i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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