what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
