some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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