listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I currently don't understand fingers.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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