I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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