I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
it's not cheating when I paid for it
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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