Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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