There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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