I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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