You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize