Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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