i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
