The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
