Kiss
Puke
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
