I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
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