I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
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We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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