Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
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apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
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If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.