Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.