Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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