no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize