i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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