Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
