I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
