He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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