He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
