So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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