I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
