If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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