There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
