She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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