we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Text me some of your sweat
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
