I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Please don't give away my fajitas
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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