Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Will exercising make me less horny?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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