I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
