Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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