doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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