sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
