Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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