Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
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Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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