I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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